
Dear Readers, I know I suck; I know I have been absent. It's not that I haven't been thinking of you. I had many columns planned, such as my breakfast outing to Stacks, my new daisies, and my first mountain biking trip. But alas, it is too late to talk about those days gone by. Today - Super Oatmeal.
In my routine physical checkup, it came to light that my cholesterol is "great"; that is to say GREAT!! complete with multiple exclamation points and a smiley face from my doctor who personally sent my results via snail mail. While this was good news, it was also shocking considering my genetic predisposition to high cholesterol, other crappy heart stuff, near diabetic stuff, and--if I may admit without harassment--a genetic predisposition to the junk food. Anyway, turns out my GOOD Cholesterol is exceptionally HIGH! Higher than anyone else she's seen!
And pretty much, this is my only recent accomplishment, so I seek to take credit (albeit totally inexplicable and accidental). So I asked my Doc what might be the thing I am doing so right? She said it was probably genes. Since this seemed laughable, I asked Ross, "What is the thing I am doing so right?" And he said:
IT MUST BE THE SUPER OATMEAL
At which point I realized I hadn't even made super oatmeal in forever. So when mid-day rolled around and I was hankering for a hunk of snack, super oatmeal was on the menu. Problem is, last time Ross got me oatmeal, he got me steel cut instead of rolled. Now, the taste of super oatmeal is really awesome and I'm so glad I invented it, but the other super-ocity of super oatmeal is it's speed. I always microwave the oats, which means super oatmeal is ready in about 3.5 minutes (including commuting to the kitchen and all other prep time).
Steel cut oats will not be microwaved. They will not stand for it. I tried it. They were drowning in water. I put them in for a second round, and still...nothing but drowning little oats under a pool of bubbling water. And finally their foreman shouted out for the directions and for mercy. I sent them rolling down the drain only to put their cousins in the pot on the stove-top. This too was a bit of a disaster as boiling something, stirring it for 5 minutes then simmering it for 30 is a bit...much to ask of a distracted worker in mid-afternoon. I scraped what I could from the pot and made super oatmeal anyway, but...
Maybe tomorrow I'll get it right. Super Oatmeal is a thing of beauty.